Reflections
by Kerguelen
Summary: Severus thinks about his past with his lover, Albus. This is the companion ficlet to Remembrance which I had to write after getting such a lovely response from everyone.


As always when I spend the night in Albus' rooms, morning comes much too early and there is just something especially unnerving about waking to that blasted phoenix picking through my hair. I will never understand Fawkes and his need to groom me. Thankfully, he has yet to attempt this around anyone but Albus. Opening one eye, I swat him away. I briefly consider going back to sleep, but I can hear the rustling of feathers coming closer to my head again.  
  
"All right, I'm awake," I mutter as I carefully slide out of bed, trying not to wake Albus so he can sleep while I prepare for the day. After all, who knows how long he was awake before his brooding woke me last night? I stand by the bed and stretch, watching amusedly as Albus quickly steals my pillow.  
  
Giving myself a shake, I head into the bathroom to have a quick shower. Contrary to what the annoying brats think, the "greasy git" does bathe. Amazing how a nickname will stick with one over the years. A permanent epithet all because I wasn't fool enough to use the communal showers after Quidditch matches with Sirius bloody Black and the rest of the Golden Gryffindors. I must admit, however, that I much prefer to wait and shower on the days that I sleep up here. Showering in a dungeon is a damned chilly business and only to be done under dire circumstances, warming spells not withstanding.  
  
As I step under the luxuriously warm water, I can't help but think of the man I've left in that wonderfully warm bed. I do wish he'd move on from this tiresome brooding of his. It has always been irksome, but of late, it has become stifling. I realize that it is the reemergence of Voldemort and my soon-to-be renewed role as spy that has caused Albus' near constant ruminations over the past, but if we are to survive this we must move on. I chuckle over the irony of that thought -- I, Severus Snape, counseling Albus Dumbledore to let the past go when only days ago I was ready to hex him over his continued dealings with Sirius Black.  
  
Albus will never understand that I have moved on from the pain of those days. I have forgiven him for his part. To some degree, I can even understand the situation he was in as headmaster. With the clarity of hindsight, I can see that Lupin had nothing to do with it and that if Black had even thought about the consequences to Lupin if I had been killed or turned, it would never have happened. He didn't want to punish the innocent or the feeble witted for being what they are by their very nature. That is all well and good when it is someone like Longbottom who is well- meaning enough, and at least there is hope that someday he will improve on his own or someone will discover a way to fix the damage done to him by the hasty obliviate cast by the Aurors who found him and his parents all those years ago. Black, however, is a mean spirited jackanapes and, while my brewing abilities are up to the task of preparing Lupin's potion, it is only effective if he actually remembers to drink it. I'm willing to work with them, as I unfortunately must for the good of the Order, but I can only hope that I'm able to monitor their periodic presence well enough to protect the children...  
  
"Severus? Have you fallen asleep in there?" Albus says as he pokes his head into the bathroom, eyes twinkling madly.  
  
I open my eyes, realizing only then that I'd shut them as I stood under the spray. I can't help but smile at Albus as he stands in the doorway. His hair is going in all directions -- how he keeps all that hair from tangling I've yet to discover -- and only he could pull off wearing a rainbow colored dressing gown without looking like a bloody prat.  
  
"You are looking remarkably rested for someone who stayed awake to watch me sleep last night."  
  
"I am sorry I woke you."  
  
"You're sorry I caught you," I say with a smirk. "Get in here and shut the door. You're letting all the warm air out."  
  
"Into the room or the shower?"  
  
"Either. Both if you want a chance at hot water without having to convince your quarters that you have not as yet used your allotment of the warming spell this morning."  
  
"One would think that the spell to warm the school's water supply would be more malleable," Albus mutters as he drops his dressing gown and gets in behind me.  
  
"I still say it was altered by some Victorian witch or wizard, trying to make sure that all the good little witches and wizards think proper thoughts about magic and school and not about each other."  
  
"And why would the spell include all of the living quarters and not just the students?"  
  
"That would be far too noticeable. Besides, one wouldn't want a student cozying up to their professor just for a warm shower," I say as I turn around and take him in my arms for a good morning kiss before letting him get under the water, but staying in the shower with him to appreciate the view. He may be old, but he's in amazingly good shape for a man his age. Of course, it doesn't hurt any that it's warmer in the shower...  
  
"Mmmm. Perhaps it was all a nefarious plot by the witch or wizard who altered the spell to get someone into their shower with them?" Albus suggests as he quickly scrubs, well aware that the water supply is limited.  
  
"Ever the optimistic Gryffindor," I chuckle.  
  
"I did say it was a nefarious plot."  
  
"Such a plot might be categorized as wicked, but evil, Albus?"  
  
"Oh, I think it could definitely qualify as evil," he says, as he grabs me and pushes me under the icy water streaming that is now streaming into the shower.  
  
"AAAAAAH! Albus!"  
  
"Now, Severus, you must admit that it is at least a tad bit funny," Albus protests weakly as he hurries from the shower and the bathroom, leaving his dressing gown and his towel in his haste to avoid my wrath.  
  
I take the time to wrap up in my bath towel before stalking back into the bedroom. Clearly the scoundrel has resorted to a drying spell as he's almost dressed and is heading for the door.  
  
"Don't move," I snarl as I stride over to him and proceed to kiss him soundly.  
  
"What did I do to deserve that?" Albus mutters, clearly surprised.  
  
"That was what I deserve for putting up with you and your puerile pranks."  
  
"Ah. It is rather like praising me for bad behavior, Severus."  
  
"Perhaps. You'd best finish putting on your robes and get downstairs before Minerva comes looking for you. We wouldn't want to make her face pinch up so early in the day," I tell him as I give him a gentle push towards the door.  
  
"She'd probably have Cornelius in tow... Maybe we could give him a heart attack and get a Minister of Magic who actually recognized what was happening in the world around him?"  
  
"A positively Slytherin idea, but the answer is no. There would be far too much publicity and far too many of our ex-students would share in his fate. Now, GO."  
  
I watch as he finishes putting his clothing aright just as the door to the magical stairs closes behind him. If pranks are what will keep his mind off of what we have to face, then I will see to it that truly harmless pranks abound. With appropriate . guidance, the Weasley twins should prove helpful. I'll have to find a way to speak to them without drawing the old coot's attention . two more detentions for Gryffindor.  
  
I'm still standing there looking after him and smirking at the way my plans are coming together, when Fawkes lands on my shoulder.  
  
"I know, I know, I have lessons to teach. Now, what did I tell you about claws on naked flesh, hmm? Get off. Leave my hair alone, you blasted nuisance. I'm trying to get dressed."  
  
Fin 


End file.
